Day who knows what of quarantining, and it’s another rainy day. The previous night was unlike many others, with one or both children up several times at night for no particular reason, maybe overtired, nightmares, thirsty, the list could go on and on.

For those parents with kids who sleep through the night since they are little and have no trouble getting their kids to sleep, please, do not tell me that. Since we had our second child after being in the hospital for 4 weeks on bed rest due to my water breaking early, our little 34weeker at 4lbs something ounces has absolutely hated sleeping. When I say hates sleeping, I mean he’s almost four years old and still wakes up at least four evenings or more a week multiple times a night (I’m talking he will wake up then go back to sleep for five to ten mins and then up again just when u fell asleep and continue this for hours on end).

He is adorable, kind hearted (when he’s not utterly exhausted), lovable, and has that cute face that my husband jokes keeps him from going to the orphanage (he is really joking). He also has the nickname of destructo. We have heard boys are different from raising girls and now we know. I’m not sure how you moms with multiple boys handle them. As my husband says, “if you want your house completely destroyed in ten mins we can bring him over for you and he will have the walls down to the studs before you know it.”

It had been particularly hard for us and for the kids with the quarantining. We usually go out and do lots of activities the stimulate their brains and bodies, and also to avoid total destruction. Luckily, we have a beautiful field behind us and a creek nearby and plenty of outdoor activities to enjoy with the warmer weather now. The routine had changed since preschool stopped and my little boy keeps saying he misses school and his friend Jack.

In the last couple weeks he has gone from potty trained with both poop and pee (yes that’s the technical terms when you’re a mom) during the day to holding in his poop. He was constipated and it hurt to poop and now it’s plainly awful. He holds it for days and when he gets uncomfortable for at least 24 hours before he goes, he screams and yells and says his butt hurts but will not go on the potty or even a diaper until he literally cannot possibly hold it in any longer. Yes, we have talked to his pediatrician and added probiotics, prunes, and many other things which eventually make him go, but the terrified look and screams he has is awful. Once he finally goes he says he feels much better and he is proud of himself. We tried the bribing for anything, literally anything if he goes on the potty, didn’t work. We tried not mentioning pooping, didn’t work. And now every 3rd or so day the night and the next day are terrible, the kind where I’d rather be working during quarantine as a nurse then be stuck at home (for the most part).

Today was particularly hard as we haven’t gotten a good nights sleep for a couple years now (almost 4), and all day he was crying and yelling off and on that his butt hurt, or his belly hurt, and he couldn’t sit still. My friend had told me her son was going through this a long time ago, and I thought, ugh that must be hard. Well, if you haven’t experienced this fun, then you are really missing out. Poor little guy is so uncomfortable and just literally pushes it back in my clenching and grunting to hold it in. And before you say something else could be going on, again we talked to the pediatrician, and we work in the healthcare field. Also, this is very common in boys (if you look it up you will see).

I was so grateful my husband was home from work so I could breath for two mins and use the bathroom in privacy (I had to lock the door of course). My husband is good at distracting and playing with the kiddos. My son was good for a bit but started putting his hands on his butt (which we explained is not hygienic). Eventually we got the kids upstairs for bedtime. Earlier in the day we made giant forts in their rooms with king size blankets and mommy promised a goodnight show with the stuffed animals. So I begin the show and my son cannot with still since he will poop in his pants if he does. He is constantly moving while I have the stuffed animals talking to each other. About two mins in my daughter is yelling at my son to sit still. He starts swinging his ladybug night light stuffed animal, which consists of a stuffed head and a plastic big body with star holes that light project out of it. He swings it fast and hard and nails me right in the eye. This will be my second black eye from my son, with the first being him whacking his head back into my eye at full force as little toddlers do when sitting with you.

I went downstairs and iced my cheek as my husband took over (thank you). More than the pain, I’m emotionally drained. I feel terrible for my child going through this, and I’m exhausted as a parent trying to keep it together. I feel bad for my daughter who yells this is the worst light show ever (little kids don’t have the capacity to care for others as much yet). I know she could be learning and doing more, but I’m constantly paying attention to my son who begs for attention throughout the day. Now I’ll be going to see patients with a nice big black eye, hopefully my mask and goggles will cover it this weekend!

This post is meant for be a venting post, of course not all days are like this and we have tons of fun and tons of love. As you can see from all of the other posts we absolutely love and adore our family and will do anything for them! We have a great family and friends and are blessed.

I just want other moms to know you are not alone out there (looking at you Kimberly), and I’m sorry if I haven’t been as compassionate to other moms with their own issues. You honestly don’t know what anything is really like until you personally experience it. I’m also still not sure how our parents survived!