This evening my husband, my two and four year old children, and myself went to a nice restaurant together. Actually, my favorite restaurant, and the one we had our Wedding rehearsal at 7 years ago. I was nervous that our children would become bored and loud so I brought a coloring book, crayons and a couple stickers. Unlike many restaurants, this one is quiet, in an old farmhouse, and has classical music on and no televisions. You are meant to enjoy one another’s company with local fantastic fresh food. There is no overstimulation with many TVs, too loud music, or too many distractions. The food may take longer to be made, but that’s because it’s fresh. The bread comes out in the clay pot it was cooked in, it’s amazing!
But back to my story, a couple comes in with their 3-4 year old son who they sit in a chair. Immediately, a large iPad is placed in front of him and we can hear blippi playing. If you don’t know the show Blippi, you should check it out, as it is a real person doing real things in the real world (it’s my sons favorite show when I do let him watch anything). Luckily, my kids weren’t too distracted, I thought my son might start yelling blippi, but he went back to eating his bread. Next, the sons father went on his phone for the entire dinner. I had missed this as I was paying attention to my family, however my husband pointed out that he was on his phone the entire time.
Through the entire dinner, the family next to us had the iPad or whatever device it was placed in front of him and could hardly see his parents. No wonder this kid was crawling under the table screaming periodically and trying to run around the restaurant! His parents weren’t paying any attention to him except to reference the show he was watching. The mother even said look at those children behaving over there that is how you should behave. I felt badly for this child because his parents were blocking him out by trying to turn him into the zoning zombie to “enjoy” their dinner. Which in this case, was the father on his phone the whole time anyways.
I see children everywhere I go on their parents phones or iPads zoning out instead of interacting, developing relationships, communicating and learning. Even at the food stores, kids are plopped into a cart and given a phone to play with instead of interacting and watching interactions taking place. The children are learning how to behave from the show instead of reality. I’m guilty of letting my children watch tv, I think I might lose my sanity sometimes if I tried to make a decent dinner with two toddlers trying to help and almost burning themselves or cutting themselves every couple seconds. Granted sometimes they play with their puzzles and legos and such and it’s great. Even better, they play together a lot more these days. I do have them bake with me frequently since they love helping (toddlers love helping, even if it makes more of a mess!).
Sometimes I’m guilty of trying to catch a couple more z’s by letting my daughter come into my bed in the morning to watch a pbs show or two. This may let me sleep a couple minutes longer; however I pay the price when it’s time to turn it off. No matter how many times I’ve told her only one show and then breakfast, she throws a mini tantrum or full tantrum and just wants to watch more. This sets a bad tone for the whole day and I immediately regret letting her watch a show.
Another thing that bothers me is when parents post online what type of device they should get their 4 or 5 year old to watch shows before bed or in bed or for restaurants car rides and so on. Children should be interacting with real people, especially their family to build the bonds for their lifetime instead of glued to a screen. If you need to catch your breath once and a whole, I totally get it! Just remember, when you let your daughter watch a show in your bed or take that iPhone out at the store, your child makes that connection that you let him or her do this so they will expect it again and will be persistent. One thing I’ve definitely learned with a toddler is that if you think I’ll pick my battles and let them do something once, they will expect it again and again. More on positive discipline in the future, but that’s all for now!
Of course this is all just my opinion, and everyone has their own opinions, this is America after all, but next time think about actually having a discussion with your kids over dinner instead of bringing out the constant “entertainment.”
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